just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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