no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
