Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
