apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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