bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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