Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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