Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
