fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
