im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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