singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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