super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
