I love black thongs
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
