i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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