ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
