please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
