i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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