Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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