that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
