he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
