I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
