So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
