I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
