I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
