I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
