The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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