so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
