Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize