just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
