So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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