I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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