That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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