she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
