I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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