my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
