I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
