Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
