i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
