have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
