its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
