He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
