I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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