Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize