meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
