4 words: hood of his car
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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