Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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