This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
