with your own penis?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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