i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
