we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize