you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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